Hola readers. I'm en route to a wonderfully fucked up weekend in Vermont and I thought I might take this time to write a new post - from my PHONE!!! That's right, I'm acting like a real fucking blogger now!
As I mentioned in a previous post, New Yorkers (and more specifically my generation), have no sense of patience or perspective. I attribute these symptoms to VSS - Veruca Salt Syndrome.
Who or what is a Veruca Salt you ask?! I assume most of you know the answer, but for those with the nerve to ask the question I will answer with another. Did you have a childhood? Know what the fuck an oompa loompa is? And I'm not referring to the nickname Kathy Lee Gifford gave to her hooha. Veruca Salt was one of the selfish brats who probably died in Willy Wonka.
Before I get too far ahead, I'd like to point out how horrifying the children's death scenes are. How did NO ONE die!? Srsly. The German kid fucking drowned, the mean "fat" girl looked like she was filling up from a mixture of gang green and hypothermia, the short "not gay" cowboy kid got TAKEN OUT OF EXISTENCE, and the ever selfish Veruca was thrown into an incinerator. What the fuck are these supposed to be metaphors for? How was Willy Wonka not arrested for child endangerment or for that matter human trafficking. There is no way in hell those oompas are legal....
What this movie does teach is the importance of patience and perspective. Veruca is perhaps te best example because how blatantly disgusting she is with what she wants. Legit, she threw things. Yeah she had an awesome song to go with it, but she didn't get her stupid fucking golden egg. And if we look at the beginning of the movie, Veruca muscled her father into spending what I assume to be countless hours and manpower to find a golden ticket. When the poor Hispanic woman with bleeding fingers finally found the ticket, she was treated more like a prisoner than a hero. There isn't even a thank you from Veruca to the obvious victim of her abuse.
Charley was the only one to have enough patience and barely enough perspective to make it through alive. I don't think most people are as obviously bad with these skills, but I do think there is a serious epidemic with people my age - and I include myself in this, at least sometimes.
I put the blame on the 80's. Everyone had lots of money then, and a lot of our parents were doing the thing they wanted to do. As children, seeing this can be equivocated to all those people who audition for American idol who REALLY think they have a shot. Our parents worked hard to get where they got, and I'm sure some gave more blowjobs than they would have prefered. I'm
Sure others feel like there aren't ever enough blowjobs to hand out...
My first run in with these words was at a group interview for Apple. The manager made it very clear that full time was something earned. He assured having patience and perspective would be our keys to success.
This was followed by a morbidly an offensively ugly individual, who wore sweat pants to the interview....asked. "But what if we need full time?"
The manager responded with one of my fondest memories, "If your serious about full-time here, I would suggest not wearing sweatpants anymore."
Don't wear sweatpants and expect to become president. Don't try and steal a giant golden egg from an extremely rare and delicate bird and assume you won't be set on fire. Look at Susan Lucci. She waited 20 something years to win a Daytime Emmy...I mean yeah her show got cancelled, but bitch werked it.
In her defense, Veruca did have a pushover for a father. I have to imagine she did the spanking in that house. How's that for perspective?
LOVE AND STRUGGS
B DANN
No comments:
Post a Comment