This post may offend some people. You have been warned
So I saw Eclipse. Am I proud? No. In fact, I have never read the books and thought that the first two movies were comparable to sewage systems. So I went to see this movie, mostly out of a need for AC because new york decided to be hotter than balls....gay jokes aside people..., and found myself with a shocking discovery; I felt for Kristen Stewart.....what?
She's bad though...isn't she? Had I made some mistake or did she really get to my heart strings and make me think? I haven't written a post in a couple of days because I wanted to make sure that I had processed everything the right way, and it turns out I still am team Bella.
Let's look at some facts. Now I didn't read the book, but anyone who is disappointed by the fact that she is not like Bella in the book can suck it. In fact, anyone who doesn't like a movie because it's not like the book or vice a versa can also suck it....unless you're one of my family members and if that's the case the disregard that comment. But seriously, I cant remember the last time that I WATCHED a book or READ a movie, not counting foreign films or reality tv on VH1 where the provide subtitles because the women on Rock of Love have such a debased form of english that it becomes vital. My point is that the two mediums are not the same and the two shouldn't be compared.
So Kstew plays Bella a little different. I will even admit hating on her in the second movie where she is in the woods crying out for Edward and she seems about as distraught about is as someone would about loosing their least favorite pair of socks....and she sounded mildly deaf too. I was always confused as to why she played her as this kind of weak and weird girl who couldn't seem to keep her shit together.
It was her ending monologue in Eclipse that made me realize what she had been doing. *SPOILER ALERT*-really it's for all those obese anime girls in Borders that sit around talking about the mythology of Twilight who haven't seen the movie yet because their parents are religious and think the girls are too obsessed with it and will lie to mom and dad about going out for tiffany's birthday when in actuality they are going to the mall to mentally cream themselves over Robert Pattison's "Made from God's own hands" lips.....
Her speech was about why she was becoming a vamp. It was not for edward (although I would turn into anything for him) but for her; she felt strong around the vampires and new that she was a weird girl that never fit in.
Bella has social anxiety disorder. DUH! Think about it. Already awkward girl loses her mom in a nasty divorce and she ends up in Washington state in a perpetually overcast town. She's super weird and can't make friends when all of a sudden this stupidly hot guy thinks that your delicious. Oh and ps, he's a vampire so nbd or whatevs he just eats blood and doesn't age. I say eat because I think of blood being like wine which is technically food but that's for another post. So socially inept girl finds herself wanting to mac up in Rpat's business when another mythological creature decides he wants on bella's bella as well. Oh shucks, he's super hot too and is a werewolf so he probably has problems with pheromones and shit. Oh shucks again, vamp and wolf are mortal enemies?!
Bella's life is NOT normal. Twi-hards, I know you think that you should be in Bella's shoes instead and how dare they pick Kstew!, she doesn't deserve those two hotties. Most of you will never know what it's like to be wanted by someone that attractive because you are stuck at home reading about sex depraved teenagers instead of meeting people (no worries anime whores, I count myself in that group so don't feel too offended). Bella not only has 2 super hot guys, but they aren't human and their people want to destroy each other. Oh and she has social anxiety without all that shit. Watch the movies again and think about it from that perspective.
I personally still hate jacob, but only because he is so desperate and tries too hard. But never stop trying so hard on those abs. I really appreciate the commitment in acting choices when you went for those abs.
And I'll always have a special place in my heart for rpat's lips.
TEAM BELLA
LOVES AND STRUGGS
B Dann
No comments:
Post a Comment